Occasionally we here at Stupid Comics come across a book that challenges everyday historical knowledge, that can only be appreciated by those intimately familiar with the culture and society in question. And then there's whatever this is.


To be certain, only a Masters's degree in Japanese culture and history would really enable the sort of deep analysis today's artifact really deserves. So that's why we reached out to Dr. W. E. Aboo, Asian Studies department head and faculty advisor for the anime club at a large midwestern university. Unfortunately, he took one look at this comic and told us to "get lost." So we're on our own here.


I guess when your comic stars talking animals, getting fussy about details like "what a samurai sword looks like" and "what kind of names are 'Nato' and 'Malik-Qui' is a waste of time. This isn't to say this comic is completely lacking in Asian iconography, however - check out that "Chinese Restaurant" lettering!


"Prepare to be ambushed by the guys that are right there in front of us? What are they going to do, suddenly give us flowers?"


The ancient Japanese martial art of "swiping poses from old comics" was well known among the feudal clans of Japan's Warring States period. This vital strategy helped win several major battles and conquer many a deadline.


I wonder if this mysterious amulet will prove to be as important to the story as the gaping, drooling jaws of Samurai Squirrel apparently are?


The history of Japan is filled with amazing fortifications, some which still survive from the 16th century, enthralling visitors with artfully constructed moats, walls, and "Yagura" towers. This thing, on the other hand, is crap.


Evil Emperor Mordak sports the famous wizard collar, Fu Manchu mustache, and long murder fingernails that are the hallmark of every fake "oriental" yellow-peril villain seen in pop culture since the 1890s. Who says today's young people don't value tradition?


If you aren't using your wizard to murder subordinates with magical fire, there really isn't any point in keeping him around.


Get the ninjas at once! Not the ninjas I just had murdered, the other ninjas!


Months of tireless research into Asian folkways and customs pays off here in this amazing sequence where the writer of "Samurai Squirrel" masterfully displays their knowledge of at least two Japanese words.


The rich tapestry of historical detail on display here is stunning, as we're shown that the research team was finally able to master the "pause" button on their VCR and freeze-frame specific images of the fine documentary film "Enter The Ninja."


The fingerless gloves aren't giving me "samurai" vibes, more like "martial arts themed nightclub rock band as seen in the film Miami Connection" vibes. The long anguished speech? I think there was one of those in "Miami Connection" too.


So off the samurai squirrel went into this strange world, to spend nine or ten months walking from village to village asking if anyone knows of anyone bragging about killing a one-eyed squirrel with a ninja star, and maybe to run out in front of a few cars and race back and forth in confusion, causing the driver of the car to swerve and slam on his brakes and maybe cause an accident or two. Because he's a squirrel.


Nato's door-to-door vengeance quest is interrupted by two birds from what appears to be a direct to video off-brand version of "Cinderella."


"But you! You carry a sword, we aren't sure where it is at the moment, sometimes it's in a scabbard, sometimes you just carry it around unsheathed, we aren't sure."

Also, a samurai is a KIND of warrior. We're pretty sure about that.


Glad to see birds and squirrels can abandon their natural rivalry, seen playing out every day near every bird feeder everywhere, and work together against their common foe, spiders.


"Oh, the deadly spider that lives to terrorize and kill? He's just a few feet away on the other side of that little rise. No, I don't know why we live so close to the deadly spider."


I swear to God, Japanese fetish porn just gets weirder and weirder.


Wrap him, seize him, kill him, all in a day's work for these industrious drooling murder spiders.


This is like that great 50s monster movie "Earth Vs The Spider!" Only with more squirrels. Same amount of pit traps, though.


See you in January! And that's it, that's the end of our look at Samu... no, wait a minute. We have a late breaking addition to this story.


Yes, Samurai Squirrel is back, they found a picture of a samurai to use as reference, and they promise eight issues a year featuring our "heroic nut-eater" as he's described in the text. Let this be a reminder to never make promises you can't keep... and also, to always avoid the phrase "nut-eater."


It's a new ball game for issue #2. New inkers, new letterers, and two new editors. Same old Chinese Restaurant typeface, however. Remember if you want to be a real samurai, firmly grasp the blade of your "katana" or "soul sword" with your bare fingers, just start slicing the hell out of your hand there. It's great. All the samurai are doing it.


This is what squirrels are chattering at you when you hear them up in the trees, they're telling you that your blood will fall and nourish nothing! A weird vampire sort of tangent for squirrels to get onto, but I guess that's how squirrels think.


Meanwhile, Nato's pal Malik has been captured by the evil emperor, who wants to know the location of the stolen Death Star plans. I mean, the location of the medallion that Nato took off a corpse last issue. Maybe don't send your goons out with valuable medallions, maybe give that some thought, huh Mordak?


The Emperor Mordak Omisoggi - that's his name, I looked it up - doesn't have time to waste talking to prisoners. He has important emperor stuff to do, like, uh, plotting and planning and stuff.


Turns out spiders have big drooling dog jaws and little dog noses, and this one has a knife through his dog-spider brain!


Again I ask this comic book to please find a scabbard for Samurai Squirrel to put his sword into.


And there is it, two swords sheathed properly. And his shirt is back. Thank you comic. And he was flown around by a bird, which again, means no bird feeder anywhere will ever be safe again, now that they've figured out how to team up.


The important part about keeping your sword sheathed is that you can use your thumb to just sort of nudge the blade out of the scabbard a bit and then slam it back in there, it's what all the cool samurai are always doing to show the world they mean business.


Pro comics tip: just use the same pose of your character over and over again. It won't bore the reader at all. No sir.


Time for Nato-san to take full advantage of the Special Samurai Discount!!


Tell me more about this "emperor" that nobody's ever seen, and nobody knows much about. What a mighty, far-reaching empire he must have!


Listen buddy, if you started actually charging people for meals, maybe you'd have some money to give Lizardo! Good strong Japanese name, Lizardo. I wonder if he turns out to be a lizard guy?


I guess that's Lizardo? He's kind of a lizard guy? He's out for the head of Samurai Squirrel? Well, don't worry. Lizardo won't get his head. In fact Lizardo won't get anything. Nobody will. Samurai Squirrel never appeared again, and the world was forced to look to "Usagi Yojimbo" for samurai-themed animal character comic book entertainment. And we think the world is all the better for it. So long, nut-eaters!

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